I’m a little bit embarrassed for you to read what I am about to write. Because as an influencer I am so very guilty of several components of what’s to follow. But lately I am feeling tired. And by lately, I would say this past year especially. Tired in all forms of the word, physically and emotionally… you name it. I know for a fact I am my own worst critic and that I am also a perfectionist to a fault, and perhaps you may be too? Perhaps you’re feeling the same itch for change that I am regardless if you’re an influencer or not.
Something hit me like a ton of bricks this morning. I had just returned from bringing my oldest daughter to school, poured my first cup of coffee, when my sweet troll pj wearing, Curious George cuddling, bed head sporting little girl shuffled in and asked me for hot cocoa. (Yup, it’s cold enough here for hot cocoa still! grrr.)
I said yes, and got her all set up. Extra marshmallows and sugary chocolate are always a great idea for breakfast right? 😉
As she sat there, helping Curious George add the marshmallows into her mug I couldn’t help but take the sweet moment in. I watched her for a few minutes and then like most parents these days do, I grabbed my phone and snapped a picture of it. I captured a moment I always wanted to remember, I was doing what I do as a mother. It was innocent, it wasn’t fancy, it was imperfectly perfect and it was ours. It was our moment and I never want to forget it.
She finished her hot cocoa and proceeded to get down and go play when I said, “wait one second babe!” And ran upstairs. I returned with a hair brush, a dress, and a headband. Got her all dolled up and then asked her to finish what was left at the bottom of her mug so I could take a picture. This is where the line gets grey. I didn’t do anything wrong, per se, but what happened is that I didn’t capture life as is for you. I captured what I thought you would want to see.
I flipped through the photos and you know what? The original snap is the one that spoke to my heart most. The one that was natural and full of life. It stood out loud and clear. Something you can’t fake in a reproduction. It’s also the one that sparked this whole entire post. And guess what? I think it’s even more beautiful, Target pjs and all.
So here it is, me pouring my heart out on the blog since the caption I wrote ended up being way too long for Instagram’s limits.
Let me back track a minute and say this, I view Kindred Vintage as a place to share inspiration, ideas, home projects, happy moments, designs etc. and for a long time I chose to keep it that way plain and simple. A place that was strictly that, one where I never showed my face, my family, my life. But as I grew not only on social media but as a person, my heart started to pull me in a different direction. I couldn’t show the life and the love I had for our home without showing the entire reason it has love to begin with, my family. To everyone else a picture is just a kitchen, or a bedroom, but to me it sometimes required moving my children from that kitchen table to snap a “perfect shot”, which I would upload, post and then look at, and feel a sense of emptiness. Because to me, it looked so much warmer the way it was before I intervened.
Now here is the other thing, the other side of the coin, which goes right along with my over thinking/over analyzing self. I love to show our home on Instagram along the lines of what you would see if you were to sit down and flip open a book, or a magazine. Pretty and put together. Of course I have loads of laundry to do and dishes in the sink, but so does everyone. We’re ALL human and we ALL have messes. I just don’t want to advertise mine, I mean frankly it stresses me out to have clutter so why would I want you to be stressed about it as well?
So my goal? To not overthink every single thing. To enjoy. Enjoy my surroundings and share a mix of the pretty and the staged but also to not shy away from sharing our little portion of the world just as it is.
On that note, I am craving a bit more natural and relaxed. Not only for me but for the culture of social media. So I’ve been questioning myself asking, “Well, Susan how are you going to do that and play your part?” How am I going to mesh together all the things on my heart? The real and gritty but still pretty and inspirational and informative, the heart of our home which is our family, the projects we do and sharing the products we love, how can I mix all these things together?
So I challenged myself and this is what I’ve come up with. I need to take it easier on myself. I need to be kinder to myself. I need to gain back the naive passion I had three years ago when I started KV and had no clue what I was doing. I need to share the imperfect photos of our home and our life, as well as the picture perfect ones that are published in magazines. I need to let YOU know I struggle too. I am NOT perfect. Neither is my home. Etc.
My wonderful husband and I have worked so hard to get where we are. It wasn’t all a stress free ride like it may have occurred to be on Instagram. And if you have ever looked at my feed and thought to yourself, “wow, she’s got it all together!” Well, I’m sorry, because I don’t. But I do my best, just like I’m sure you do, and we’ll, that’s all we can ask of ourselves.
In light of this, I will be starting a little hashtag that I would love to share with you. One that I would love for you to share with me as well. I decided to name it #kindredvintagetruetuesday. I will be participating via Instagram stories by sharing intimate snaps of our home in its TRUE current state every Tuesday, starting today. Whether its Insta worthy or not. 🙂 Just touches of our home and the things happening within it that day. Basically, I will be sharing the little messy breadcrumbs of our home in the form of photographs. Photographs that I would have naturally tweaked but didn’t. We look forward to sharing a little more of our home and heart with you each week, and I sincerely look forward to seeing and sharing yours.
Much love and many hugs to each one of you.